Brenda's alto ego says: "I left school at 15 and went to work in a clothing factory. I had only just reached those painful years of puberty (very late) and had never really noticed girls before then. Strangely I found myself envying the way the girls dressed and looked. It was an era (1960's) of very slim waists pulled in by tight belts accentuating the bust & hips, skirts were getting shorter and legs thus longer! Need I mention all those 'petticoats'? Tights were not around as yet and stocking tops flashed as girls sat down or a welcome breeze blew! I was in an almost constant state  of arousal, but always wondering what those frillies would feel like on my skin. I can't say I fancied some of the "hair do's" though!

I was extremely shy (still am) and could not raise the courage to ask any of the girls out - much less cope with the (inevitable) rejection, I began to fantasize more about being a girl myself. I found intense relief by the feel of soft satins & silks on my skin and I moved on to retrieving discarded garments. I remember my first dressing was in a bikini which I 'manufactured' myself and I wore that under my male clothes many times until I got some 'genuine' undies. 

I eventually did of course go out with 'real' girls and got married to a girl who (thankfully) threw out her wardrobe very regularly - only for me to re-cycle most of it. There were many times when I was alone so I could dress as I liked. I only ever once went out very briefly -  ostensibly for a bet. I never repeated it. The rest of the times were at home or in my hotel rooms. 

When I was to get married for the second time I made the (ultimate) mistake of revealing my 'secret' for the very first time, although the marriage went ahead I had to promise not to let her see me dressed and things went from bad to worse as she started calling me a 'freak' whenever we had an argument.

I spent another 10 lonely years still praying that I would that I might meet that illusive "understanding" partner**, meanwhile, I had a private house which I shared some 60/40 with Brenda whose wardrobe dwarfed my own. Having gone through a serious breakdown in 1993 and spending time in an acute unit, I devoted as much time as possible trying to help others through the traumas of bereavement and breakup. I like to think that Brenda has brought me the sensitivity (in a prejudiced World)  that I need to deal with peoples problems in the way I do. If they knew my 'secret' though  would they be so understanding?

At the age of 60 I got another chance of a partner and I this time decided to be open about Brenda before getting involved at all. The great surprise was her acceptance - not rejection - and a completely new set of experiences. Shopping, parties - dressed - together, understanding. So many new emotions. We got married in October 2006. Just goes to show it is never too late and to keep your options open.

Brenda adds: " Things were of course far from ideal. For over 44 years I didn't go out anywhere although I would have loved to. If only I could have started by joining other T Girls at a 'safe' venue and take it from there. I lived near Derby and until late 2004 I didn't know of local venue's or support groups, in any case I would have preferred to travel further afield. I still live in fear of being 'caught' a really sad reflection on the small minded attitudes that exist in the UK. Virtually all minorities now have had rights for several years but T Girls have not? Things are slowly changing and one day we will have the same rights as many Euro TG's which will be good for all you younger ones out there. Meanwhile there are more and more places where we can meet 'virtually' , for example I came across the UK Angels website a few years ago  and joining that gave me at least the confidence to launch this little site, and from that to correspond with, talk on the phone and to meet with other TG's"

Eventually I plucked up the courage to meet with a couple of TG's at one of their houses in a remote part of Lincolnshire. I dressed under a track suit and metamorphasised into Brenda in a remote lay-by. Driving in full daylight as Brenda was an amazing experience and yet another 'mind set'. I stayed dressed until a few miles from home later the same evening. After a few more such outings I was persuaded to go to the inaugural meeting of the Boston Belles at Brothertoft, another huge step for me.

From those beginnings I tried to get out once a month or so, with that 'drab' leisure suit hiding all until I got a few miles away from home when a quick 'theatrical' transformation in a lonely lay-by set me 'free' to drive to that 'safe venue' and to meet other TG's at last. It was wonderful not to feel something of a 'freak' after so long. There is a way I think for most if not all of us to meet others now and at least leave that closet door ajar. 

My life took even greater twists and turns when at 60+ I eventually found what I never expected to find, a soul-mate who cares as much for me as Brenda as she does for my other self. The real wrench was leaving Derbyshire and all that I had known, including my new found TG friends for the 'alien climate' of Hampshire and back into a private closet.

Having said what I have, it is still not all 'Wine & Roses' inside our vulnerable community, it has more than it's fair share of Prima Donna's and Piranhas. Have fun but please tread carefully. 

If you want a chat or let me know of your venue, club, support group etc. e-mail me at:  brengun52@gmail.com or of course put a note in my Guest Book.